I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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