My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
