she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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