Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
