I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
