Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
