So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
