We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
