So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
my liver is dry heaving
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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