My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
