But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm jealous of your bromance
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
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