I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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