My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
