Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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