one two three fourrrrnication!
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
