u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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