dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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