Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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