Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
