I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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