you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
