Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
