I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
