In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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