giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
