on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Dicks are not precious.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
