3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
