I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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