I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
