Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
