I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
