one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
