I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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