tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
