Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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