My friends, they love my intelligence
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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