I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
