I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
