New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
