The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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