somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
