shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
