i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So many bounce houses so little time
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
