she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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