is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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