hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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