I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
