I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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