Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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