I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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